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Randomness Intro

Randomness...that's the whole purpose of this blog. Alisa Rosner seemed in need of a bloggin buddy. So...Here I am! I'm going to basically put random stuff on here for a few days, weeks, years...however long I can remember I have it. I'll probably put my mad thoughts and contemplations. My pondering has been known to go a little far. So...if I ever threaten to kill someone important, or slaughter millions...I'm totally joking. Even to the point of running for an office to prove the opposite. I'll run for president, save millions and bring someone important back from the dead! I hope that cancels out the evil joke. You know what would suck? If for some reason my "radical" and "abnormal" views turned out to not be all that radical and abnormal. Why would that be a problem? Because I think I'd really try and run for president or emper- (coughing) Nevermind. So, Glenn Beck...He's human...or is he? Once I truly wondered that. Now I know. I am the only human alive. The rest of the human race fell asleep and was replaced with identical biological robots programmed with the same spirits and memories of the people who once had the same lives...Cruel world, eh? Oh well, I'll do my best not to ruin their memories by replacing them with horrible experiences...except for those few guys. You know who...jerks. Haha! I'm enjoying this. Actually, I'm kinda asleep...Not really, if that were true, you'd know it. I'd actually start typing Z's...like so: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... What? That not enough? You're right! That was more like a nap than true deep sleep-typing out-of-it. So...how's this? zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. That wasn't extreme at all. You know it! That reminds me, I'm Mormon! Well, actually, I'm not. He's dead. I'm actually a member of the Church of Church-going Terrorists of the Right... I know, It's quite sad. That's our official name and everything. Even our name for short is cleverly slipped into other religions. CTR...never gonna see that the same again, are ya? If you have half a brain, I'm terribly sorry. However, to all you whole or mostly-whole brainers, that was an outright lie. I feel like calling myself a terrorist, only because I feel my face brings terror to most small children...that would be sad! actually, It's because I'm trying a little too hard to be funny. Is it working? NO! Wow, I'm harsh on myself. Did you know that being harsh on yourself is the first sign of being extremely obese? No! I'm not in denial! I'm fat! I know it! Actually, I think if I was fat...I'd be happy. Currently I'm a little obsessed with becoming a little less extremely small. I'm a durpy dumb dodo...Don't ask...just don't ask...serious...dot dot dot...I'm not tired. I already had my sleep. You'd already know that if you had been reading. So...You might think I talk really fast, however, you may be surprised to know that I'm not talking. I'm totally serious. I never actually spoke this stuff aloud. I type it. Foreign concept, I know. Now...That's a good enough intro, right? Did I mention I'm a captive...I've been held by this crazy person for my whole life. His name is Braden Van Wagenen. If you ever meet him, make sure you teach him a lesson, for me. He absolutely hates female attention, so if you give him that I'd be very appreciative. Oh, he also hates anything having to do with food. Good food is like his true nemesis. So yeah...feed and kiss the boy and I promise you he'll be destroyed. Yep...Go for it girls! He must be taken care of...and destroyed. So yeah...Go for it.

~B Wag~ (Cuz this was not Braden Van Wagenen...I promise)

Comments

  1. Braden Van WagenenJune 19, 2011 at 11:37 PM

    Dude, You are one nut job...

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownJune 20, 2011 at 8:05 AM

    Braden, now it just looks like you're talking to yourself, making you seem more crazy!! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. CanadianJune 20, 2011 at 8:13 AM

    I don't even know what to say, friend...did I really do THAT bad on my blog so as to make ya think I needed a blogging friend? :P

    ReplyDelete
  4. Braden Van WagenenJune 20, 2011 at 4:41 PM

    Yes...yes you did.

    ReplyDelete
  5. CanadianJune 20, 2011 at 5:33 PM

    ...ouch...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Braden Van WagenenJune 20, 2011 at 5:37 PM

    Meh, you know I'm joking...Sorta :D

    ReplyDelete

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