Disagree with an Understanding

"I think it’s impossible to really understand somebody, what they want, what they believe, and not love them the way they love themselves." - Orson Scott Card, Ender's Game

When I was a teenager, my dad called me a political fanatic. I remember debating that claim until my face flushed and stars filled my vision. I sputtered about our government infringing on our rights and blathered about internet conspiracy. I argued passionately for the need of the government to be transparent to reveal the corruption hidden there. I felt like the world and its evils were against me, and I was ready to fight for what I knew was right.

I've since calmed down some. I still have passion, but an LDS mission and these years of reflection and study have helped me learn a few lessons, change some ignorant views, and gain a new perspective on life and other people. This journey was personal, but what I learned along my way out of this type of fanaticism could help others escape overzealous or blind perspectives.

It's difficult for us to understand someone who sees things differently. And we often mistake someone seeking to understand both sides, or someone showing respect to the other party, as a traitor. But I believe that open-minded approach towards each other is what our country really needs.

I needed some sort of picture. So I made this.

I'd be surprised to meet someone who is not aware of the current anger in both the Republican and Democratic parties. Hatred burns in both organizations and in the hearts of many individuals unaffiliated with either. The primary topic of Republican debates was essentially, "Who can beat Hillary Clinton?" and everyone else, including some Republicans, are talking about beating Donald Trump. If you're not a fan of Donald Trump, then you probably don't like him or even hate him. The same for Hillary Clinton. If you don't love her, you hate her. That seems to be the reality of politics today: anger, hatred, and zealous loyalty to our candidates.

The world is complex. Each person is unique, and everyone has their own reasons for believing what they believe and doing what they do. Sometimes, we might feel the inclination to label someone silly, stupid, or selfish, knowing they might feel the exact same way about us. That's an easy thing to do when we don't understand one another. The important thing is to recognize when we're guilty of that ignorant judgement ourselves, and stop it. It's then that we can be prepared to understand who they are and why they believe what they do.

Growing up in Utah and in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I was raised in a principled, faithful home. My father was the President and CEO of a software company, and as a result, we weren't living in poverty. It only made sense, with that background, that I would come to understand and align myself with a conservative, well-off culture. What an eye-opening experience waited for me on my mission!

I was able to serve in South Florida, specifically in Broward and Palm Beach counties. My mission was still the United States, but the cultures present in southern Florida and northern Utah are far from the same. I met and grew to love people living in halfway houses and mansions. I was yelled at and insulted by gun-wielding grumps and same-sex couples—sometimes on the same day. Conversely, I was also treated kindly and respectfully by many who declared they weren't interested or lived a different lifestyle. The person I met who gave me the most perspective, however, was a member of my church in Boynton Beach.

(I haven't yet asked him for permission to use his name, so from here until I get the permission, he shall be known as Beet Jersey or Brother Jersey.)

Beet Jersey was a high priest in the local congregation whom I grew to respect very much. He would devote Tuesday evenings and sometimes Thursdays as well to go out teaching with us. When he wasn't working or teaching with us, he lived the life of a true love-thy-neighbor Christian. I felt he had one of the kindest hearts of anyone I'd met in my life.

Fort Lauderdale Temple (Click here to learn more about temples)

One day, we were driving down to the open house of the Fort Lauderdale Temple, and I told him of a close friend of mine who had left our faith. He agreed that it was a sad story, and I continued telling him that I'd been preoccupied with politics at the time. I hadn't been as worried about my friend's change in faith as I was about him becoming a Democrat.

I'm grateful Brother Jersey didn't slam on the brakes. He might as well have for the shock he gave me, though. "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" He burst out, "I'm a Democrat, and I don't understand how anyone can be a faithful member of the church and be a Republican!"

Politics is not the easiest way to invite peaceful discussion, so we try to avoid speaking of it as missionaries. In this case, however, I don't regret it coming up. It gave me a needed slap in the face, as his words sounded familiar. How many Republican members of the LDS Church have said this same thing, but the other way around? I know that I had been guilty of the same thing.

Brother Jersey proceeded to explain some of his beliefs and elaborated on the principles he strove to follow in politics. They were often, at least in application, the very opposite of what I'd believed, and yet, his thinking made sense. I won't say I was fully convinced of his view at the end, but I grew to respect them and—by extension—him far more deeply.

President Barack Obama and former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney following their lunch, (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)

That's my invitation to anyone reading this. Don't seek to divide yourself from those who don't share your political views. Don't seek to rile them up, or point out their faults. There's a time and place for debate, but there's also a time for seeking sincere understanding. Ask them what truly matters to them, and how they feel it can be fixed. Try to restate their views in ways that they'd accept. They might not be correct in your mind, but you'll find many of them aren't "idiots" or evil at heart.

If you have any thoughts or questions, feel free to comment below. I'd love to learn more about what you think about this topic.

Not done reading my work? Well, that's so kind of you! I'm just gushing here. I got about 8 views on my emails, so I'm pretty sure you can check out those by clicking on the "Mission Emails" link on the sidebar, or click here!